Winning At Having A Weekend

Dear Audy,

I am currently feeling the toll of what was a very big weekend in my world! As well as the Eddie Vedder concert on Thursday, I went out for more music on Saturday night. This was a last minute plan as a friend had an unexpectedly spare ticket to see Bonjah at Northcote Social Club.

I won’t go into the whole review thing for that gig, it wouldn’t be fair. My friend and I were both extremely tired and suffering from a serious case of the vagues.


I still have vague face.


We went out for pizza beforehand and by the time the band took to the stage at 11:20pm, we were already thinking about the wonderful comfort of our respective beds. Probably not the best frame of mind for getting into the reggae groove. It wasn’t a bad night, the band was entertaining, I always like a super-percussion guy or gal (i.e. person who plays a whole bunch of bangy type and often obscure instruments) and we did have a little boogie before flaking out before the end of the set.

I must admit, it was nice to be able to have a little groove before my body said, “You sit back down. You sit back down NOW.” I’d decided to give a standing gig a trial without asking for a chair, so it turned out to be lucky there are a couple of benches at the back of this venue! I am not strong enough to stand for a couple of hours, but hey, I gave it a good go.

I was also still able to drive home afterward, so I am calling the night a win.

I am trying to keep in mind that I don’t need to fear flares; to remember that with Feldenkrais, I have a way to manage them. This mindset makes surviving pain in the moment a whole lot easier. In the past, I would start to worry when I began to get sore from being out. I’d envision myself trapped on the couch for a week trying to recover, I’d unhelpfully imagine those unbearable levels of pain that my body is capable of going into.

All of that worry used to set off the negative kind of self-fulfilling prophecies. It also used to take the shine off of whatever I was out trying to enjoy. It’s wonderful to be at the point where I can be in pain, understand that the pain will be increased by an activity, yet still enjoy that activity in the moment and not resent the pain for existing afterward, nor myself for having set it off. It’s impossible to move forward in life if I don’t push my own boundaries.

Being calm about things actually helps to keep the flares at lower levels and the recovery time to a minimum. This was a lucky fact over the weekend, as Bonjah wasn’t the end of my adventures, I still had a family reunion to attend on Sunday!

Getting up Sunday morning was tough…but I did it. I had gotten about four or five hours sleep. I knew I wasn’t going to get moving by the time my parental ride was leaving, so I quickly decided to handle driving myself and leave a bit later.

A few months ago, I never would have felt confident enough to drive after a few busy days. A great feeling of freedom helped to motivate me to get in the car and get to the event. It was nice to spend some time with the extended family, many of whom I hadn’t seen in years. They had done things like turn into adults, which is always a little mind-blowing.

Naturally, I am sore, blah-headed and exhausted today. Thankfully, I don’t have to do anything other than recover. Well, recover and acquire coffee beans…I had to drink instant coffee this morning and this does not make my taste-buds sing, it makes them whine and grimace whilst caffeine addiction fuels the pouring of this foul substance down my throat.

Most of the day has passed and I have done so far is lazily read blogs and internet fiddle. I’m pretty happy with that. My plans for the rest of the afternoon include some Feldenkrais, to help get rid of some of these niggly aches and pains, and also a good long soak in the bath tub. Probably a nap, too, I mean, if I’m thinking big…

Yesterday, a three-year-old said something that hit a note with me. I love that I never know when or where inspiration or understanding will strike. I’ll ponder the little lesson that he reminded me of and write to you again soon…

What did you win at this weekend?

Love & Snooze Now,
Caf

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  • 12 thoughts on “Winning At Having A Weekend

    1. Della

      I got EGGS from my own chickens!! That goes a long ways to making my world good. 😀 It is pretty amazing what a bit of peace can do for pain.

      1. Hayley Cafarella Post author

        YAY!! That is super exciting! How many chickens do you have? My nanna used to keep chickens, I was always terrified of them. I’d want to go in and collect the eggs, but secretly I thought those flappy little buggers wanted me dead :) Peace is such a wonderful thing xx

    2. Jenn

      I’m glad you got to get your groove on a bit and had a chance to spend time with your fam.

      It feels good to let the worry go. Sometimes I am good at that, sometimes not so much. But I know worry has never done me a bit of good. I just have to remember it.

      I hope you had a restful day and have acquired some fresh coffee beans. :)

      1. Hayley Cafarella Post author

        Thanks, Jenn! Scored the coffee beans, I was so excited the next morning…turned out that there was no soy milk in the house! I had to drink it black, which was better than nothing…but gosh damn, ya should’ve seen my face 😛

    3. Tracey

      That is a seriously big weekend … lots of stuff happening and the ability to cope with the vast majority of it sounds like a wonderful balance.

      I hope your pondering is going well.

      As for what I ‘won’ at over the weekend … hmmm … does buying a kitty count? If so, I win at that! 😉

      1. Hayley Cafarella Post author

        Totally counts!! I am still in recovery mode, but hopeful that I’ll be over all my exhaustion soon. It’s so nice to have a good reason for it 😀 Yay for new furbaby cuddles!! x

    4. Shauna

      Hey you rocker girl!!

      I am so happy to hear your exciting time and you certainly deserved it!!

      I fully understand the after-effects but aren’t they worth it???

      It’s always wonderful to get out with great friends and family anytime and I think even though it may cause more pain the next day, or even during it, we feel better emotionally which is proven to lessen the pain.

      Either way, ROCK ON!!!!

      Gentle Hugs my friend—-<3

      1. Hayley Cafarella Post author

        Thank you! I am so glad I got to go out and have some fun, especially as I’m STILL paying for it. I’m getting frustrated, but remaining mostly calm as I try to keep waiting it out. Hope you are doing well xx

    5. Matthew Smith

      One of my friends who has ME said the other week that she’d done an interview with Radio 4 (a British talk station which isn’t full of inane phone-in shows) and gone to see some show in the evening, and said she really had over-done it and felt more ill the next day. When she didn’t post a couple of days later (and she’s on some kind of post-every-day scheme), I really thought she’d gone into full relapse (which would be horrific if it happened, given her past). But no, it was just the WordPress scheduling which somehow failed to work.

      Glad to see you’re able to get out and enjoy yourself without paying too high a price for it nowadays.

      1. Hayley Cafarella Post author

        Thank you! Counting the Eddie concert, it was definitely a weekend worth paying for. Unfortunately, I am still bloody paying! Getting very frustrated with how long it is taking me to recover. I keep reminding myself that I’m still better than I used to be, it’s the only thing keeping me sane. I can’t wait until I can take myself out again!!

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