When Thinking Positively Fails, It’s OK To Take A Break
There can be a lot of burnout associated with making changes. I was bombarded with this over the weekend, as my pain flared off the charts and the weight of weeks without much respite cloaked my existence in a dark fog.
I lost my ability to cope for a while there, I stared at the wall, I cried and sobbed, I felt defeated and so very small in the shadow of the challenges that I must face everyday. I could see my reasoning, that thing that I use to find healthier perspectives from which to live my life, I could see it and yet it just kind of wasn’t working properly.
My reasoning was tired, that’s all. It’s been working overtime for months because my condition has been fluctuating so frequently that it’s taken a lot of work to keep myself thinking positively.
It’s important to take breaks, and maybe just break, sometimes. That’s when our learning does its best work. The brain has an awful lot to do all of the time, when trying to make changes or learn something new it’s important to allow rest so that the information can be consolidated.
This is why a problem can seem easier when left alone for a night and revisited the next morning. In not actively trying to force productive thought, we allow the brain time to figure stuff out on its own. It’s important to maintain a balance between practice and rest whenever we try to make changes.
I’d been so focused on thinking positively, that it had been ages since I had really taken a break. Too long. And so my body forced me to, which was upsetting at the time but in retrospect, necessary.
I feel stronger for having broken down. It’s like my stores of coping have been replenished. It’s easier not to follow negative thought patterns now, it’s easier to keep cultivating the healthy ones. It’s almost like my coping is a thing, an entity unto itself, a tired entity that has now had a nap.
Poor, little, sleepy Coping.
My symptoms have been particularly intense, despite my maintaining pain management tactics several times a day.
Pain can also play tricks with forgetful mind. When yesterday arrived, I’d had several days of intense full body pain. At some point during that haze, I crashed my left elbow into the frame of my pantry which caused me to drop and smash a kitchen plate. I grumbled, cleaned up and then promptly forgot that it ever happened. Consequently, my left arm catapulted into such an extreme flare that I could hardly stand to be attached to it.
I thought it was just playing funny buggers. I’m so accustomed to symptoms that make no sense that I didn’t remember that I ever hurt this limb. Not until I was relaying the story of another smashed plate did I remember that there had been smashed arm as well.
Sure enough, there is a bruise running along the outside of my left arm from above the elbow through most of the forearm. It’s not a particularly nasty bruise, however it is enough to set my CRPS into a panic.
I feel stronger this morning. It’s time to saddle up my Coping and take it for another ride. My left arm is still pretty excruciating, but it’s better than yesterday and every step forward counts. Thank goodness for dictation software, without which I might never blog these days!
Thanks so much to everybody who has sent me messages of support and understanding. It’s amazing how much it can help to have someone simply say “yeah, that sucks” on a venty Facebook status. I find it particularly helpful because I’m so determined to think positively in spite of all setbacks, that I forget how necessary it is to take a break occasionally.
It helps to have you tell me that it’s okay to break sometimes because I’m still learning how to not be too hard on myself.
Love & Learning,