The weekend is the perfect time for a reset.
I have been struggling to deal with these excessively painful days. Sometimes it amazes me that changes in my pain levels and mobility can feel like new assaults and challenges. CRPS is unpredictable by nature, yet there is some part of my mind that is always looking to predict, to plot and to plan.
To some degree, we all have to be planning ahead in this modern society of ours. There are obligations that come with living. Forms to be filled out, finances to organise and groceries to buy.
Living with chronic pain requires extra planning from a person, despite and because of the fact that capabilities fluctuate to ever changing rhythms. We have to be ready for any scenario. It isn’t enough to always plan only the easiest options, it’s only when we strive for greater goals that we make progress.
Not being able to do something all the time is no reason to miss out on the opportunities that we do have to perform the task in question. Whether that task be a chore, a craft, a walk, a song…
Plenty of people with CRPS and other chronic pain conditions do suffer from non-fluctuating incapacitation, I count myself very lucky that this is not the case for me.
For the past couple of weeks, my CRPS symptoms have been gaining strength and taking over my ability to move and think. I am going to have to reset my daily expectations in order to manage the pain, not get upset and be ready to go again when the symptoms eventually back off.
I need to take my mindset back to the flarey days of the past. I need to devote more time to Feldenkrais and meditation; techniques that I tend to get slack with when things are going well. I need to find safe ways to keep moving and spend more time soaking in Epsom salts. I need to keep my mind in the present, not worry about the future, refrain from lamenting the past and just plain deal with what is, right now.
When Monday comes, I need to make some appointments. It’s time to get a little hands on help with keeping myself on track.
I’m not planning a total reset; I’m not computerised, no matter how much I wish I was and could reboot this malfunctioning nervous system! I’m just changing my focus from pain management + reaching for creative productivity, to pain management + self/home management.
Plenty of time to reach for productivity later.
Love & Plans,