Three’s a Charm

Dear Audy,

I am starting to fit a few productive things into my days. I’m still dealing with some leftover fatigue from the ketamine infusion, but I’m doing my best to fight through the fog enough to kickstart some body strengthening. Yesterday, I ate three times. Yep, breakfast, lunch and dinner. All healthy stuff. It was pretty spectacular. Don’t worry about sending congratulations, I know how impressed you are right now.

My knee is starting to function like a practical joint again. I can use it to do things like stand on my legs for a little while and walk around the house. I have to stretch it a lot and try not to keep it bent for too long, which is rather tiresome, but I am enjoying the standing and so I will continue sucking up to my knee by playing physiotherapy princess.

I will do my stretches and exercises, even though they are very boring.

It’s a struggle to muster up motivation at the moment. I feel like I’m lagging behind life.

I didn’t expect to feel this way after the infusion. I knew there would be a bit of recovery time, but that time has been dragging on. I have lived with untreated CRPS for so long that now that a treatment finally helps, all I want to do is slip on my bright pink runners and sprint off into new adventures.

It's been too long since I've been able to wander through trees!

It’s been too long since I’ve been able to wander through trees!

Ketamine is not a cure, however. It’s not magic. It’s a tool and like most tools, it doesn’t do the work by itself. There’s a lot of work involved when attempting to rehabilitate a rewired body. A lot of work that needs to be paced out over an indeterminable amount of time.

I will do my stretches and exercises, even though they are very boring.

My pain levels are still lower by my standards, but pretty high by regular standards. I’ve been weather flaring and pain spiking and that sort of business is hard to predict. I need to keep my goals simple until I’ve regained more strength.

Three is a nice, simple number. I only have three goals:

1. Improve physical strength through pain management and exercise.

2. Improve diet by cooking regularly and returning to grocery shopping when strong enough.

3. Read and write every day that I physically can in order to trick my brain back into some sort of creative and productive mode (it’s gotten way too comfortable doing nothing).

That’s it. Hopefully 1+2+3= less pain and more activity. That’s my whole life plan right now.

I will do my stretches and exercises, even though they are very boring.

Love & The Daily Grind,

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  • One thought on “Three’s a Charm

    1. Lisa Moon

      Ugh. I *so* can relate.

      Physio? Snooze. Sure, everything makes me snooze (and nothing), but the tediousness of those same, annoying stretches… Argh.

      Doing nothing?! Oh, can’t say I rekaye to that. HA. I’ve become a big, gimpy blob. My brain apparently decided it was jealous and wanted to copy…

      All I can do is nap uncontrollably right now. Hoping I get used to this oral ketamine and it’s helpful and stops making me sleep ~16 hrs/day.

      Oh. Not too much different than umtrwatee me before. Huh.

      Anyway, something must give and I’m more than sick of it being another piece of me, another facet of my life. I was written off and sent to rot, basically, as though by not helping me the CRPS might magically disappear.


      I love your trainers. So fun! I love that you’re walking in the leaves, sun on those legs, breathing in health-giving fresh air. I hope so badly to be joining you on such jaunts very soon.

      Ooh, such the delicious thought!

      Mwah. Xox <3

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