Surviving The Setback, Overwhelmed & Ouchy

Dear Audy,

I wish I had the energy to discuss further the labelling subject that I raised in my previous post. Thank you to everyone who commented, it was very interesting to read the different responses and when I am thinking a little more clearly I shall ramble about the topic further.

For now I am just bumbling along in my sore and distorted fashion. Everything has been more overwhelming than usual and I feel quite ready to curl up and just have a little break from my body…if only that were possible!

20090908 Overwhelmed by aurelie_
Overwhelmed. by aurelie_


My jaw is getting closer to sitting back into its socket, however closer that’s not quite there, is it? No…not quite there. Not quite there is a pretty painful place, and not just for kids anxious to reach the end of a long drive. I can talk a little bit, however I will be punished on a syllable by syllable basis. It turns out that speech is this whole complicated movement that works much more efficiently with one’s jaw tucked comfortably into its socket…who knew?

While I wait what feels like several eternities for this little setback to pass, I am determinedly trying to maintain the diet and posture changes that have been improving my overall condition since my stay in rehab, a little over a month ago. Eating gluten and dairy free is helping to keep my flares less inflamed, which makes them shorter and more manageable. Eating gluten, dairy and chewy free is difficult. I am trying to cook when I can, however I have to be really careful with every movement not to put my back out. When I buy ingredients I don’t always know if I’ll have the strength to cook them later or if I’ll be eating 2 minute glass noodles again…it’s frustrating but I am getting by. Last night I cooked a delicious Spicy Lamb Soup, I am paying dearly with every muscle I have, however at least I’ll be fed for the next couple of days.

I have been knitting as much as my hands will let me, getting very close to finishing my first scarf! It’s nice to have a project that I can work on with very little effort. My bag making dreams are awaiting a body fit to carry them forward and my fuzzy brain issues are interfering with my usual creative outlets like drawing and writing. It takes a lot of concentration for me to do anything right now and I have been spending less time online than in the past. It seems that right now I am struggling to reply to messages, even concise little tweets have been more than my focus can handle. Thanks to everyone who has sent me nice messages, I do apologise that you have heard nothing back, I am looking forward to catching up with you when the silly world gets a little easier and quits zapping all my energy. I have not had all that much to say lately, my condition has been difficult and constant for far too long, which has made everything kind of boring. I miss reading books, it’s very annoying when pain gets between me and my stories so I am trying to get in spots of reading where I can, even when I find myself reading the same page five times to take it in!

I’m heading back to hospital next week. Returning to hospital does not excite me, but I know it’s probably my best option at the moment. I’ll be in the same rehab place, only this time they will be trying to fix my jaw and shoulders rather than my hips and legs. Gosh, that just sounds ridiculous…things are a little ridiculous right now. If you ever find yourself suffering CRPS but feeling more mobile and positive after a stay in pain rehab, I strongly recommend not dislocating your jaw the day you leave…it really chains some weight to your recovery attempts!

Love & Sighs,
Caf

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  • One thought on “Surviving The Setback, Overwhelmed & Ouchy

    1. Jen

      Oh wow Caf,
      Sometimes i really dont understand how you get through the day. I really dont think i would have the strength to get up and get out of bed everyday.
      I just want you to know you are an inspiration and you always make me feel that its not as bad as i think it is. if you know what i mean.
      good luck with it all. will tweet soon
      xx Jen

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