LOVE BEATS HATE

Dear Audy,

Today I am taking part in a blogging event that… actually happened yesterday. Oh wells, I can do things when I can do them, it’s this whole thing where I listen to my body and behave in ways that will assist healing and help me feel better, even when that means avoiding what I actually want to do. In these days that my hands have been mental, all I have wanted to do is write… of course. I am going to get hooked up with some talky/typey software so that I am not forced to stop writing at times like these, when the seasons change and my nervous system can’t keep up, so it throws tantrums.

I was invited to join in with Love Beats Hate by the lovely Jeanne, from Chronic Healing. The idea behind this initiative is to focus on all the good that is made possible by social media. As a disabled person, the internet has helped me a lot. I just don’t know what I’d do without you, Audy.

Sometimes, I warble a little to warm my voice up before I start talking to the camera. Today my mindless warbling contained a rather excellent lesson. Let’s not sound like we have a stuffed nose. Giggle, I am always amused when subconscious me sings, quite literally, what she’s thinking. She has a good point. It can be unavoidable, but never sounds good to have stuffy nose voice, especially not when you’re planning on recording what you say.

(Side note: That’s enough already, airborne allergens. Also, I have no idea why I’m referring to myself in plural. Let us? Me and Subconscious Me? Am I going Gollum?)



You can check out the Linky page here for other posts by participants of Love Beats Hate to see what other bloggers have to say.

Have a wonderful day! Go and be nice to someone, just for the sake of it. Giving warm fuzzies is getting warm fuzzies, after all, it doesn’t matter if the person in question reciprocates. Just focus on how good it feels to be genuinely nice, it feels so much better than being rude or cynical or judgemental or mean. The nicer you are, the better you’ll feel… and couldn’t we all stand to feel a little bit better? I think so.

Having trouble with the CyberBlues? Check out this past post where I ramble on about coping online: Interacting Online: The Joys, The Struggles & Surviving Unharmed.

Love & Extra Love,
Caf

P.S. Please feel free to share your own stories of internet warm fuzzies in the comments, I’d love to hear them!

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  • 24 thoughts on “LOVE BEATS HATE

    1. Matthew Smith

      Hi Caf,

      I don’t know if you read about Communication Shutdown a few weeks ago? Some autistic charities thought it would be a great idea to encourage people to pull off their social networking sites for a day to supposedly simulate the communication difficulties autistic people have. It got a lot of celebrity backing, but was widely condemned by the online autistic community because, among other things, it assumed such things as that people with autism couldn’t speak (which most in fact can) and because anyone participating would actually be cutting off any autistic friends they had. I also pointed out that anyone participating who had chronically ill friends might well be cutting them off, since these sites (not just Facebook and Twitter but also LiveJournal and similar sites as well) are how they communicate. In extreme cases it may be the only way they can do this.

      As for the cyber bullying, I’m not sure what it was that inspired this event but it’s pretty scary – of course, bullying happened before the internet appeared, but it makes it easier to do things that would have taken a lot of effort before, so the stakes are a lot higher which is why we’ve heard of so many suicides. Now, you can take a picture of someone in a “compromised position” and spread it to all your friends in minutes; before, you’d have had to develop the picture (and risk getting arrested in the process, depending on the content) and copy the material and pay for it. In some ways it would be easier if kids didn’t get access to the internet until the age I did (because that’s when it became available, and then only because I was at college), but that won’t happen of course, or at least we can’t force parents to make it happen.

      1. Caf Post author

        I was a little so/so about the communication shutdown, I love the fact that a lot of people donated to a good cause, however I am of the mind that a donation with a bit of spreading awareness and education would have been a bit more effective than simply donating and then being gone. I support everyone who acted in good faith, I think it was just a little bit of a misguided effort. The controversy with cutting off actual autistic people was valid and I know a lot of people got upset because they were just trying to help… kind of brings me back around to the idea that spreading awareness and knowledge is a better way to help than trying to experience some fake, digital version of autism. I can absolutely understand the concept behind the movement, it just didn’t work that well in practice. I suppose the good thing is that the next time an autism campaign is organised, those in charge can learn from the hiccups in this one!

        I think the only chance children have of learning the consequences of doing something like spreading a “sext” is through open dialogue and education with parents and teachers. The technology is there and it’s not going away, so kids need to know what is and isn’t appropriate. I know that I behaved pretty inappropriately back in the early days of internet, simply because I was a kid and didn’t know any better and my friend and I thought dirty chat rooms were a good laugh…

        The media attention on cyber bullying is valuable, it helps vulnerable people learn how to protect themselves, however I am loving the Love Beats Hate day because it’s nice to focus on the other side of the spectrum for a change! The internet has been SO valuable to me and I think that people often don’t realise how much a simple “hugs” in a message can make a difference in a sick person’s day. I hope a few extra people read the posts popping up today, it’s nice to just be reading positive posts for a change! :)

    2. Amanda

      I love the fact that you did a video for this event, as it is so personal and gets across just how much the internet has meant for you (and so many of us with chronic conditions). Love really does beat hate and, as you said, most of us already know this, but it certainly gives out more warm fuzzies to be reminded of this fact once in a while.

      I hope your hands start feeling better soon xx

      1. Caf Post author

        Thanks, Amanda! I am discovering that airconditioning helps my hands a lot, they are acting up a bit, but much more functional than they have been lately, hurrah! :) xx

    3. Tracey

      I always love watching your videos – you seem so very ‘you’ (if that makes sense) … perhaps it sounds better to say – you’re a natural!

      What a great event to be a part of – the internet is so wonderful for so many reasons. It’s fantastic to find like minded people and feel connected to the world.

      Take care.
      xx

      1. Caf Post author

        Thank you! That is a big compliment as I try to just turn the camera on and blurt out whatever I blurt out without thinking about it too much, they make a nice little journal to look back on, even after a year I look at the older ones and think ‘that was so long ago’! 😀 xx

    4. Matthew Smith

      The thing with the Communication Shutdown, as with any autism-related advocacy, is that there’s a huge rift between the groups that represent caregivers of severely affected autistics (like Autism Speaks) and those that represent those with high-functioning autism or Asperger’s syndrome. The first group talks a lot about “curing” autism, although they often seem to mean a pre-natal test so as to facilitate abortion, and play up the distressing features of severe autism (often in a very melodramatic fashion designed to inspire pity). The second group objects to all that on the grounds that, if there had been a genetic test for autism, they might not be around today, and campaigns for acceptance. This was the group that mounted the campaign against Communication Shutdown.

      1. Caf Post author

        Thank you! I think there will definitely have to be a repeat, it was such a great event and is still sending through little bits of inspiration as everyone replies to their comments. Such a nice sense of community. Very nice to discover your blog, too! Looking forward to following along :)

    5. Jeanne

      Hayley,

      I just love your post for “Love Beats Hate”. I especially love that you included a video… as I always thoroughly enjoy your videos.

      However, I am sorry to hear that trouble with your hands is why you decided to go the video route. :( I hope your hands are feeling better very soon!!

      You are great with videos. I just think it’s a great medium for you. Your sense of humor has always cracked me up and it’s just fun listening to your voice. Speaking of your voice, you have a lovely singing voice. I hope you will definitely sing in future videos.

      Hayley, I still remember meeting you on Twitter back in 2008. While I may have since closed out my Twitter account (we won’t go there… I want to stick with the positive), it is wonderful that we are able to now connect in other Internet “neighborhoods”.

      Your positivity, caring, humor and love shine through on a regular basis. You are wise and insightful. Your creativity is impressive. You share information about interesting (and sometimes lesser-known) alternative medicine options and educate people about things they might not have known about.

      You are also brave in the aspect that you have video blogged some intense, painful moments for the purpose of informing and educating others. You have courage.

      People like you are what makes interacting with other on the Internet great. You really care and it shines through in everything you do.

      Thank you for posting for “Love Beats Hate”.

      Jeanne

      1. Caf Post author

        Aw…. I don’t think there are big enough “thank you” words for me to be able to reply properly… You are so kind! Thank you for always supporting and encouraging me, I am so glad to be a part of your online community also, so many new blogs to follow from Love Beats Hate!! xxoo

      1. Caf Post author

        Thanks, Deanna! Your blog is lovely, I am looking forward to following along. Love Beats Hate is filling my reader up with great, new, bloggy goodness, it is very exciting! :)

    6. Kelly

      This is my first time to read a post from your blog and you made me smile! What a lovely person you are and so engaging. I enjoyed watching your video because it felt so personal and I appreciated what you had to say. Thanks for sharing your insight. I loved what you said about the end about encouraging people to reach out…what is the worst they could do? I’m pleased to be connected with you and learn more about your journey.
      Kelly

      1. Caf Post author

        Thank you so much, Kelly! I remember when I first starting online social networking, I was very shy and reserved about talking to people – I’m not sure what I was afraid of! I’ve have my little “online heart” broken by non mutual blog or twitter love along the way, I think it helped me to realise that it’s no big deal when that happens. That realisation has helped me feel more open and less vulnerable, I almost feel like there is and online me and a real world me, LOL! It’s very nice to connect with you, I am looking forward to following along with your blog posts. I hope that your pain is low and being kind xx

    7. Della

      Ohhhh so good again!! I’m going to have to share this one. Thank you, Caf!! Love and gentle hugs to you!

      1. Caf Post author

        Aw, thanks Della! I’m so glad you enjoyed it, being able to share a smile or a giggle is one of the best things there is about social networking!! I hope your pain is low and being kind. Much love xxoo

    8. Jenn

      So nice to meet another friend of Jeanne’s. She is great at uniting like-minded folks & sharing support (& warm fuzzies!).

      It’s never too late for love beats hate! Thanks for sharing your video today. :)

      Take care,
      Jenn

      1. Caf Post author

        Thank you, Jenn! Yep, that Jeanne sure is one super uniting force, I’m so glad to have connected with her! Looking forward to following along and getting to know you, I am very excited for all the “real people bloggers” that Love Beats Hate has introduced me to 😀

    9. Emily

      Understand totally “the feeling of disconnectiveness”. What a lovely video post, and great vibes. I work with a lady with RSD, and have seen how difficult a disease it is to deal with. Thanks for spreading your positive attitude all the way round the world to me!!!

      1. Caf Post author

        Thanks so much, Emily!! *reaches out and catches the rebounding positivity* 😉 I am definitely not feeling disconnected today, thankfully my hands are playing along! Looking forward to following your blog, it is so nice to meet so many friendly bloggers! xx

    10. Jasmine

      Adorable video. You’ve got spunk despite your illness and that’s so important. You’re an inspiration :)

      I’m happy this event helped us meet. Have a wonderful weekend.

      1. Caf Post author

        Thank you, Jasmine!! I am so glad that Love Beats Hate has introduced us, also. Looking forward to following along with your blog! The weekend has been super relaxing around here, I hope that you are experiencing something similar! :)

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