Mistakes are how we learn, right? Thus, when I overdid it a few days ago and set off the most horrible hand flare that I have had in quite sometime, what I was really doing was teaching myself that I had made an error somewhere in my expectation and preparation for beginning Operation Sew A Pretty Dress. Perspective can be a wonderful thing when it’s not messing with our heads.
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After a lot of painkillers, some tears, some moaning and a bucketload of scowls, I think I have figured out what that error was. As a part of focusing on my pain rehab, I need to physically prepare for absolutely any task at all. This involves a bit of stretching and up to an hour of Feldenkrais. I have to think about what I am planning to do, how it will effect me physically and what I can do to minimise negative impact.
My expectation for Operation Sew A Pretty Dress was that I needed to be wary of my back and shoulders due to the sitting and odd positions that can arise when I am caught up in the chaos of creation. I prepared for that by focusing my Feldy work on my lower back and shoulders. What I forgot to think about was all the intricate hand and finger movements that are involved with pinning and cutting out fabric. What I have learnt is that the next time I sit down to continue my project, I need to warm up my hands first so that they don’t have another freak out.
This flare has been incredibly painful and incapacitating, but I am trying to take the positives and move forward, even though it is super tempting to keep crying and doing nothing. I don’t want to be that weak anymore. That’s not to say there hasn’t been a lot of venting and upset around here whilst I got to that decision and choosing not to let those emotions continue to control me takes all the mental muscle that I can muster.
It’s hard to let go of negative thoughts and emotions when the physical pain is so powerful, but that is exactly why I have to do it. Letting them go is more of a challenge than simply enduring physical pain and the more challenges that I take on and conquer, the brighter my future looks, each and every day.
Love & Keeping Perspective,