Can you believe that I’ve actually had several, consecutive good days?! It feels like a miracle. Good days for me are ones where I take care of myself properly and complete my rehab activities, but mostly I consider good days the ones where I don’t give in to despair and frustration and have the strength to continually try to make the best of my situation.
My neck and shoulders are feeling much better than last week, although I’m still working through all the tension that was jammed in there. I’ve made it down to the pool for hydrotherapy a couple of times in the last few days, bobbing and moving in the warm water makes me feel a lot better, as well as helping me strengthen this delicate body so that I can feel a lot better out of the pool as well. Maintaining core stability and posture are paramount to maintaining mobility as this helps to limit the extra pain that is caused when I start to try an accommodate a painful area by moving differently and essentially, ineffectively. My personal history shows just how dangerous moving incorrectly can be for a CRPS patient – for the first year of my pain, it was restricted to my right foot and ankle and I got around using crutches. After a year on the crutches my left hip went kaplooey from all that compensating, required an operation and encouraged CRPS to spread through my body. Preventing further injury by moving carefully can be easy to forget when I’m in the midst of trying to do something, but it’s definitely worth practising in the long run.
The most exciting thing that I have achieved in my recent spate of productivity is beginning a new art project! It has been so long that I barely remember how. The sketching part has gone alright, it’s still a little off. It’s a portrait, I’m not looking to make it identical, however there is a particular way I would like to show this person and I haven’t quite gotten that out of my head yet. I shan’t tell you too much as it is a secret surprise portrait, I just wanted to share how thrilling it is to be feeling creative again. There are so many projects I have thought of in the last six months and not started, perhaps I am going to finally get to them!
I can’t help but think that the antidepressant (mirtazapine) that I started taking to deal with anxiety has been helping me get on with things. It’s definitely helping me sleep, although it has amped up dream activity and (apparently) I now turn the lamp on and off if asked whilst asleep. I also (apparently) punch. The financial stressors have relaxed a little, I’m not in quite such a pickle as I was a few weeks ago, however the ordeal is far from over. The holiday period is almost done, which, for someone who hasn’t had a good time this year is a good thing. Is it relief from these things that is allowing me to feel a bit like myself again? Or is it chemical? I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.
I have a silly right ankle that is giving me a bit of a flare up right now, that means I’ll be taking it easy today. Not too easy, though, because it’s too easy to forget that when it comes to movement and CRPS, the best defence is definitely a good offence, meaning that staying still isn’t always the best thing for pain and that often things feel better once they get warmed up. Not all CRPS pain is unaccounted for, not all of it is extra nerve signals, a lot of it is enhanced muscle pain because our bodies are so weak. I can’t stop the nerves firing, but I can do something to keep combating the fall out.
Love & Happier Days,